Golden girl

Omg… I didn't see it before 🤣

Sandy's delicate little woo-woos sound just like the Colonel's bark in 101 Dalmatians 😂

I miss the Golden girls. And my babies ended being the new Golden Oldies. 

Daffodils

The daffodils have started to come up again. 

I miss you guys. So much. 

I feel like it's been worse the last few weeks. Random moments that hit hard for no reason. 

Love you. 

Rainbows

Happy 2-year anniversary in Swansea! 

Full rainbow visible on the bus - thank you for watching over me. 

I miss you. 

Love you. 

Little miracles

I don't know how you're doing it but thank you. 

You are still looking out for me and making sure everything is ok. 

And I'm looking after your baby-girl - promise.

I rather suspect that's why it happened, but let's not tempt fate…

I miss you both - so much.

Love you. 

Hand me downs

I was looking through photos from 2018 and Mom was wearing Dad's tracksuit pants. Those trousers are now being worn by Aldo… 

It's almost reassuring to think of how things move on and are shared. 

I know that Mom would absolutely adore Ade, and be thrilled that she has the candlesticks and curtains. 

Those moments where I know it's *right* help. Especially when I doubt other items I've sold. 

I miss you both so much. 

Love you. 

19 C

Soooo… it's "sunny and hot" right now 🤣

And bizarrely is actually quite comfortable… 

Miss you. 

“You’re going to suffer, but you’ll be happy about it”

One of the worst lessons I've experienced was that "looking good" trumps everything. There are people who have learned this lesson in far worse ways. This is just my story. 

At one stage, everyone kept telling me how good I looked, but my life was deeply unhappy. 

I was walking 20 km a day because it was my only form of transport and I couldn't afford the bus. 

My meals were the bare minimum needed to keep my body functioning, but cheapest options available. 

I was desperately unhappy with my living situation and had no way out with no back up plan or savings. 

It was possibly the loneliest time I've ever had. 

Yet the implication was that it's all worth it because I was "looking good". 

I remember being so disbelieving that people couldn't see how unhappy I was and I almost felt betrayed by the fact that they couldn't see that my losing weight was indicative of how bad my situation was. That losing weight was more important than being healthy, having laugh lines, being joyful in life. 

I guess when you suddenly fit other people's "norms" and meet their personal standards then your life must be going well. 

My dad used to joke about how, even as a little girl, I was an "independent dresser". I've rarely followed trends and am always hopelessly out of style. 

If I ever needed reinforcement that others' approval shouldn't dictate my life, this was the lesson.