Life's a bitch... and then...

I hate the days where EVERYthing goes wrong. 

"Normal" bad days will have something upset you, but the rest of the day is decent - or even pretty good - so you can get over the bad stuff.  (can you tell I'm tired...!) 

But when every aspect of your life is upsetting you - one way or another, mad, hurt, annoyed - it's hard to find the good part of the day. 

I am lucky in the friends I have made, but sometimes I know they aren't going to give me the support that I need at that moment. 

And that is when I miss Mum and Dad. 

Dad would get irritated that I didn't always follow his advice! But the discussion was helpful and let me work through whatever I needed to. 

It took me a long time to get Mum to realise that she couldn't fix situations for me - cos that was her forte! - but she still listened and gave me advice. 

It's must be really hard for people who don't realise what they have until it's no longer there. As awful as it sounds, I do think I was lucky in that the diagnosis of cancer warned me that my parents wouldn't be around for long and I got to make the most of the time we had. 

Doesn't change how fucking difficult it is not to have them in my life.